Hi blog,
This blog might not seem school work related, however bear with me, and I hope you will see why I chose to put this up as a blog for my reflection. It’s a bit more “personal” than my other posts and I’m going to try to be more personal in the future. Not that people have commented on anything, heck I don’t even know if anyone is reading this stuff.
When I first started to prepare myself to get a higher education I was initially going to apply to a school in Gävle that has a graphical 3D education, because that was what I was doing at the time and it was an education I thought would suit me. I wanted to learn more about how to do 3D stuff. The education was two years. Then later when it was time to apply the education was getting a rework and wasn’t available. That’s when I started looking at other schools for what to do. I’ve always had an interest in games and programming so I applied to several schools related to that, because that was actually what I was thinking of when I was modelling in 3D. I couldn’t apply to pure programming courses, because I didn’t have enough math in my baggage so I applied to several schools. One being Game design in Skövde, and several in Stockholm and of course here on Gotland. When I first was accepted to Gotland, I was dubious if I should take the spot or not, but I accepted in the end (well duh ;).
What I didn’t know however was that the focus was more on the game design part than the programming part. Just reading it afterward seems stupid even to me as I did apply to Skövde on their game design school, but the reasoning was that I wanted to get into a game related school and I was willing to apply to almost anything at the time. Since I cannot draw anything worth a damn and I could only work in 3D software, it was logical that I applied for programming, besides I’ve always had a dream, but haven’t been able to teach myself, to program. I’ve always been that kind of a person, doing stuff, not thinking about why you are doing things, just plain out doing what you think is right. In my case however I’ve often been doing stuff right, but I cannot tell you how or why, just seems like I’m able to figure things out without even reflecting about it. The problem however is that once you start doing that, you stop learning the why, how and what. You don’t learn anything from your automated self, so once you are stuck, you are really stuck, you can’t solve the problem, because the knowledge of what went wrong and why it went wrong is missing. That has always been my problem, it’s when I started at this school that I’ve began thinking of why, how and what. So now every time I do something that for me is automated, I try to stop and think why something happens, what I did (right or wrong) and how I can change something. Analysis, good stuff!
Anyway, I am really glad that I was accepted to school. The more I learn about game design the more happy I am that I was accepted (and that I accepted). I’m learning more and more how cool it is to be able to analyse games (digital and board games) and even other things like TV shows and movies. For instance the small things that we learned in the first year about heroes journey, story arcs and how to build tension is something that you can clearly see if you look for it. I’ve even seen Chechov’s mantle piece in many TV shows, although often it isn’t a gun, but something else. That said however it’s not always evident what it might be. However I find it fun to look for those things and see if I guessed right later on. The teacher warned us that he would ruin games and also TV shows forever. I on the other hand don’t see it that way. I actually find it more entertaining now, because you see why they are doing like they are doing and you more often than not understand the reasoning why something happens. The only exception to the rule so far is probably Game of Thrones, however that series I hear the music and I forget all about analyzing the story.
In the first year I remember that I wasn’t that interested in game design, I mean don’t get me wrong I enjoyed the subject it’s just that it didn’t quite feel like my calling. Now on the other hand I find myself thinking about how to design games more and more. I’m learning to look at games, trying to come up with ideas on how to improve what people have, learning to appreciate the art that is game design and stopping to be as narrow minded as I once was. I’m starting to like the different things that you can do and the more I talk with other people about game design the more I look forward to the next course that involves game design (which is level design) more and more.
Right now I like the school, I like my fellow students and I like our teachers and I’m really happy that I landed a spot here on this school and even if not everything is perfect at the school, what I learn each day is something I can bring with me. Although I’m not as good with game design as some of my fellow students, I’m learning to appreciate and love the craft that I’ve chosen.
One example, this week I have probably worked more during a week than I have since I got here. We’ve been pulling 8-10 hour days and I’m still not exhausted which I should be. Having these long hours during a week is usually a killer, however I’ve been enjoying making the serious game we are making so much that the time just flies. I’ve been having so much fun testing other peoples games and also trying to make sense of the criticism we got ourselves. Even if I haven’t been at school I’ve been working, looking at this or that. Discussing game design, discussing ideas etc. I’m even going to work this weekend and I’m looking forward to it.
I’ve met some excellent people and people that I want to stay in touch with after I graduate, so if anyone asks me where to apply for a school to get into the gaming industry, Uppsala University Campus Gotland would be the answer they get from me, I’m really enjoying my time here and I’m really having a lot of fun at the same time learning a bunch of stuff. My only regret is that I have to be away from my wife, but I’m doing this for us, so it is worth it. As a person I feel like I grown heaps, even if I’m older than if not all, at least most of the students that take the same course.